The joys of having a "funnel"

When people have asked, "how are you feeling?" "how are things going?" I know they are being kind and curious, and sometimes I give long answers and sometimes very short. Today I have decided to give a long answer. Having a lapband is somewhat of a journey of discovery. Right now, there is very little difference between the way I was on December 16th and the way I am now, except of course, I weigh a few pounds less, but not because of the lapband, but because I am trying to be good until the lapband is "filled." When the lapband was first installed, I was really happy because I was not hungry. What I didn't realize is that feeling was temporary. The reason why I didn't feel hungry was because my stomach was swollen from the surgery and having a band tied around its neck. It was not happy. But a few weeks later, the swelling went down and all of a sudden I was hungry. What happened? Well, it is the story of the funnels. When one bottles peaches, there is a handy, dandy device called a funnel with a mouth almost as big as the bottle so that you can slip peaches or any fruit for that matter into the bottle without getting the mouth of the jar dirty. You need clean mouths so the lids will seal correctly, but I just wipe it clean and throw the peaches in and forget the funnel. But that funnel is pretty wide. I have another funnel that I sometimes use to fill ketchup bottles, but I discovered that using a funnel was very long and tedious. The funnel hole was so small, that it made more sense to just pour the ketchup in my large blue Tupperware pitcher and then pour it into the ketchup bottle and clean up any drips on the bottle afterwards. My stomach right now has a "peach" funnel. Almost anything can slip right through the funnel to the secondary stomach, which means that I would have to eat an awful lot of food for it to reach to my little stomach where the satiety sensors are. However, on February 2nd, Groundhog Day! I will get my first "fill." This is where they inject saline solution into the button on my right side and it goes through a small tube till it reaches my lapband where the inflatable tire gets filled. Now my funnel has the opening of maybe a small pencil and the food has to "drip" into the secondary stomach, but I will feel full and satisfied after only a few bites. So just imagine the ketchup going through a small funnel and that's what my little stomach will be doing after the fill. I can't drink water an hour before I eat or an hour after because they don't want to dilute the "ketchup." Makes perfect sense if you think about it. They want the "ketchup" to stay in your little pouch for two or three hours slowly leaking out so that you have a feeling of being full and no desire to eat. Last night I went to a meeting in the hopes of getting some good feedback, but by in large I felt I knew more and had come to a lot of the conclusions by myself. The moderator handed out a sheet for goal making and I thought, this is what I drove over at 5:30 in the evening to do. But I did get my questions answered and I'm happy, so we'll see how it goes.

The Cost of Medical Care

In order to get my insurance to pay for my lapband, I had to jump through a number of hoops. I had to see a clinical psychologist who had to certify I was not a psychotic schizo in quest for the next new medical procedure, I had to go on a 6-month physician supervised diet/exercise/behavior modification program where I could not gain weight, I could stay the same or lose but not gain, I had to have another co-morbidity condition like diabetes or high blood pressure or heart problems, etc. (I have sleep apnea, which considering the other choices was the best) and basically I had to sign my soul away that I would be a good candidate for a lapband and do everything that I was told. After jumping through all the hoops, I was denied twice and going in for the final round where they get nationwide Regence folk to listen to your appeal. Luckily I was able to forgo that step because an independent reviewer looked at my case and said, "She did everything, give her the lapband." And they had to comply.

So many people ask me, "How much does it cost to get a lapband." I said about $13,000. But when I was mentioning it on the day of my surgery to the check-in guy, he raised his thumb and said, "much much more." So I have been anxiously waiting to see what the cost for my lapband really was and yesterday I got I believe all the bills, not sure, don't know if there is a separate hospital bill, if there is, then for sure it will raise the price a lot higher. Also when I went to the seminar about lapbands, they said that the lapband itself is $3,000, so I will look and see, but for right now, I am giving you the huge dispartiy between what it costs and what the insurance paid. David was with me when I got the mail and he told a story about a mammagraphy clinic that has two doors, one for insured clients and one for pay as you go. He said the insured door is pretty generic, you wait for your mammogram, you undress and get one of those cotton unfashionable open ended hospital gowns, the lab technician does the work and says you'll get the results in a week or so. On the pay as you go, there is no waiting, you get a fluffy white bathrobe, exquisite attention, the doctor talks to you, after the mammogram, he comes back and goes over the results with you. The cost for the insured was $100, the cost for the payer was $600. Now of course, that is totally hearsay, but here is the reality from my bills.

My doctor charged $9,600 for taking care of me, but the insurance has negotiated at $2183.90 cost of which I paid nothing (yeah), the attending surgical nurse charged $2400 but Regence only paid $327.59. and the anestheologist (this is why they are the highest paid medical professionals) charged $1520 and received $1168.50. So if I had had to pay out of pocket it would have cost me $13,520 and I might have gotten the fluffly robe, but Regence paid $3,679,99 and I was happy with my cotton, wide open frock. When I realized how little it cost them to give me what I feel is a great blessing, I admit I was a bit miffed at how much work I had to go through to get it. I mean I think the cost of delivering my babies was higher and I had Alexa at home! So you can see my frustration. However, David says with the Obama plan there will no longer be a cap on your lifetime maximum and you can't be denied for pre-existing conditions, to which I said, "it very well maybe the end of clinical care as we know it, or the profession will have to wise up and start allowing more people to go to medical school." So whichever turns out, I'm grateful I had the surgery when I did and happy that I have insurance!