Today is September 13, 2010; it has been 75 days since I blogged and in those 75 days, I have lost 25.6 pounds or basically one pound every 3 days. That is a shocker! Because although I have seen a decline, it hasn’t been as precipitous as I would like it, as we always know, one can never have too much money nor be too thin—at least not me! So today on September 13th, I broke the 250 and weighed 249.6! I am closer to 200 than 300, it has been many years since I have seen this weight, over ten for sure, so it is a red-letter date!
It’s not surprising that one of the first questions a person will ask me or more than often it is a rhetorical question—I bet you can really tell a difference! I have thought about that question and to tell you the truth, I have lost over 75 pounds, but I really can’t tell a big difference. I mean I realize that my clothes are hanging on me and that clothes that I bought ten years ago that were a little tight and I told myself then that I would lose weight to get in to them, now fit. So I do notice that my clothes are roomier and that my face looks thinner, but the question or statement—don’t you feel so much better, I honestly have to answer, “Not really.” I mean I am still morbidly obese so it is not like I feel thin or anything, but I just feel like me. I never saw myself particularly as grotesquely overweight, simply because in my mind’s eye, I’m pleasantly plump.
I have noticed some interesting things though. I have ankles, my fingers are thinner, I still walk slowly and I still pant. I believe the moment I can sit down on the floor and get back up again without feeling like a cockroach on its back will be the day that I will say, “I can feel the difference.”
I love the lap band! I love it because when I have an insatiable appetite, and fill up my dinner plate with mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, and chicken it pulls me up short with a quick, “You didn’t really think you could eat that, did you?” And I smile and say, “You got me!” I eat about three bites and say, “I’m full!”
These past few days I have been in agony. More than likely I have a slipped disk, bulge on my spinal cord, whatever, and I can only be up for about five to ten minutes and then I am back to being prone. With my being flat day in and day out it has made me aware of what people told me happens to your aperture when you first get up. They say that it is difficult to eat first thing in the morning. I never had a problem, because I go directly to the gym for three to four hours, come home and then I eat, so this having difficulty with your first meal never fazed me. But now because I am on my back a lot, I just don’t feel hungry. After two or three bites, I find that even a salad is sometimes too much. Yesterday, I was really in a nut mood. I wanted cashews or mixed nuts or something. So I asked my sister if she had some and sure enough she brought me a small bowl filled with cashews. Imagine my surprise when I ate about eight cashews and said, “I’m full!” So now I understand why I have been losing weight while being a couch potato. I’m just not hungry! Who would have thought that being on your back could curb your appetite.
Not me!
