What is food? Really?

When I studied Latin in college, along with the language we studied the culture and I learned that Romans had not only dining areas but also a “vomitarium,” an adjacent room, where people threw up what they ate. Gluttony was in high form. Several years ago we had a Murder Mystery Party about the Titanic and wanting to be very authentic, I found a book that listed what the final meal was aboard the Titanic. After reading it, I thought “Titanic” was an apt name. I turned to my daughter, Stephanie, and said, “Well, after eating all that, it’s obvious why the ship sank!” But that was in the Edwardian days when eating was an event that you dressed for, had your hair coiffured, your body bejeweled, and your best manners “spit and polished!” There were established rules of conduct, specific courses with particular utensils, and a host of do’s and don’t’s. Dinner was a ballet--a pageant of colors and tastes for both the eyes and the palate. The more ornate and spectacular, the more your dinner parties were talked about and that was the object and goal of every aspiring woman of society—to have a dinner that knocked your socks off!

While watching Julie & Julia, I learned that Julia Child was trying to create a cookbook for the “servant-less American housewife.” And it crossed my mind that that was a turning point in our history. We felt we could do it all. We could cook the dinner, dress for dinner, serve the dinner, eat the dinner and clean up the mess. And these would not be the macaroni and cheese casseroles for the hoi polloi; no, these would be the Beef Wellington and Chicken Cordon Bleu dinners for the upwardly mobile Americans who had an inferiority complex about not being “noble-born.” We would show them, our dinners would rival the elite of Europe! Naturally, when women discovered that they couldn’t do it all, even with automatic dishwashers, bread makers, rice cookers, microwaves, and salad spinners—restaurants and McDonald’s, showed us how to eat. Unfortunately, instead of the home-grown vegetables and whole wheat bread, we got canned, processed, packaged, and partly hydrolyzed food. Selling the food became more important than whether the food was good for you or not. Businessmen needed a product that “you couldn’t eat just one.” They wanted a product that was classy and addictive, and so food became loaded with salt, sugar and fat. We won’t buy organic because it costs more and why should I buy one tomato at $1.99 a pound when I can buy 12 huge tomatoes for $5.99. Gluttony has always been a deadly sin, but it came out in force in the United States and we have become the fattest nation on earth and one of the nations who abhors it the most. So we have a love-hate relationship with food. We love to eat it, mounds and mounds of it, but we hate what it does to us. We want them to invent a food that gives us the feeling of fullness without any calories.

As babies our comfort was to be held AND fed, and somehow, it got into our psyches that if we wanted to feel safe, secure and happy, there better be food. No party is a party without food, even pity parties! And so food became my safe haven. I lived to eat! And I loved it. Now with my lapband, food no longer has that allure. I mean I love food, but because I’m limited I want something I really want, not something just to “fill the space, the time, the moment.” I find myself thinking and pondering more about what I truly want to eat and a lot of times it’s cottage cheese and pineapple. Sometimes it is raspberries and grapes, but usually it is my “New Whey Protein Drink.” An incredible find, only 3.4 ounces that has 42 grams of protein for only 180 calories, no fats, no carbs, just straight protein, and believe it, it tastes horrible! But I feel great when I have a day with over 100 grams of protein.

Unfortunately, the one food I can eat that would be better if I dropped from my diet is sugar, and nothing goes better with sugar that chocolate. I love the scene in Ever After where the “wicked” stepsister has the prince put a piece of chocolate in her mouth and she has this look of ecstasy and says, “Delicious!” I think there were a lot of women in the theatre rushing out to get some Junior Mints or Milk Duds! So chocolate is the one food that has no problem with a lap-band. In fact, if you are a candy-holic, then lap-bands aren’t for you. In talking to my friends, I have found that bread no longer has an allure for me, I can eat it; but it doesn’t like me very much. Before my lap-band, I never thought I would ever be able to give up bread—Bruce’s rolls, French bread, croissants. But, voila, is isn’t fun to eat bread!! And so when I eat, I have to ask myself, “What do I want to eat? What can I eat that will make me feel good? And feel satisfied.”

Last week, as I was getting the dinner for David and Rob ready to take the temple, I opted to just have a salad with shrimp. Alexa was packing it for me and she asked if she had put in enough shrimp and I said, “A little bit more for the guys, I’m fine with what you have.” And she said, “Are you sure there’s enough, Mom?” And I said, “Haven’t you noticed I can’t eat large amounts anymore?” And she said, “No, really?” And I said questioningly, “Yea, really?” “No, mom, I haven’t noticed that you can only eat two bites of something, that you only fill your plate with about one-half cup of food, No MOM, I haven’t noticed! Of course I have noticed!”

It is very interesting to me. What I think a portion is, now. Before my plate was bulging with food, now I take one large tablespoon each of salad, fresh fruit and scrambled eggs, and sit down and Alexa says, “Are you going to be able to eat that, Mom?” And I say, “No, but I want the visual and I’ll give you the plate when I’m finished.” And 40 minutes later, she finishes it off. Last Sunday, we drove up to Ferndale to watch the temple dedication and afterwards, I invited Bruce and his family to eat the chicken-salad filled croissants I had made. I made one for everyone, including myself and Rob looked at me and said, “You’re not going to be able to eat that.” And I said, “I know, but I like to think I could.” So three bites later, I passed it back to David to finish it off.

So what has a lap-band done for me. It’s taught me what a portion size is, and you know what, it is LOT smaller than most people think. I go to restaurants and the sizes are over the top. About twenty minutes into the meal, I look around at everyone’s plates and they are all empty while mine is still 90% full. In some ways I’ve gone back to the Edwardian time where you ate one course, and then another, but the serving sizes were very small, and people took a long time to eat, talk and converse—I mean those corsets were the external lap-band! But for the future, it will be interesting to see how long the wedding feast will be and how much, but for sure, all will be filled and there will be enough and to spare whether it is two fish and five loaves or twelve baskets.